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Here’s a very funny song about Dachshunds. It has been passed around the internet via e-mail and even quoted in the Wall Street Journal. Following are the words:

There’s no other dog like a dachshund,
Walking so close to the ground,
They’re stubborn and sly as a fox and
The happiest pet to be found.
Most kinds of dogs seem to either
Have shapes or proportions all wrong;
They’re only one way or the other,
But dachshunds are both short and long.
Dachsie, meine dachsie,
The best canine under the sun,
Call you “wiener” or “sausage” or “hotdog”,
We know that you’re number one.
Dachs Song is used with permission of Paul de Vries and Murray Weinstock,
©1993 Furry Murray Music (ASCAP)
p. 1995 Four on the Floor Productions
Order Dachs Song CD
Profits from sales of CDs go entirely to the DFC’s rescue fund!

Weiner Dog Song

Weiner Dog Video

Original song that celebrates the enigmatic, beloved dachshund, featuring video footage and adorable photos of wiener dogs in various poses. Song written and performed by Yet Another String Band.

If you want to sing along, here are the song’s lyrics:

On the sixth day, God created man
But earlier that morning, He had another plan
He took some spare parts, some looked kinda weird
And cooked them for awhile and a wiener dog appeared

He had long floppy ears, sausage shaped and brown
Stubby little legs and belly dragging on the ground
A nose that’s made for smellin’, where rabbit might be dwellin’
But it won’t be there for long when a wiener dog’s around

Some dogs are hairy, and other dogs are small
but there’s only one dog shaped like a Hebrew National
Kilbasic in form. At night they’ll keep you warm
They’re nature’s perfect brat. Yes, the Wiener Dog is hot!

Thin little tail, that’s in constant motion
Big, brown eyes, that beg for your devotion
Bark so loud it could disperse a riot crowd
You best not make a sound
When a wiener dog’s around

Now a wiener dog’s a carnivore, which leaves us little doubt
That you better watch your back when a wiener dog’s about
They eat fish, pork and fowl and steaks when they can get ’em
So be careful of your hand when you go to pet ’em

Wiener dog, wiener dog
Everyone loves a wiener dog
To make a long story short and a short story long
Everybody sing the wiener dog song

Wiener dog, wiener dog
Everybody loves a wiener dog
To make a long story short and a short story long
Everybody sing the wiener dog song

Now some dogs are light and some dogs weigh a ton
But there’s only one dog that fits so neatly on a bun!
Stubborn as a mule. You may think you rule.
But this I know is true…your wiener dog owns you

Little sharp teeth that’ll cut through wooden plank
Body by zeppelin like a Ball Park Frank
A tongue that’s made for licken’ in places that’ll sicken
But don’t be tightly wound, when a wiener dog’s around
No badger will be found when a wiener dog’s around
Before you step best check the ground when a wiener dog’s around

Wiener dog, wiener dog
Everyone loves a wiener dog
To make a long story short and a short story long
Everyone sing the wiener dog song

Wiener dog, wiener dog
Everyone loves a wiener dog
To make a long story short and a short story long
Everybody sing the wiener dog song

Wiener dog, wiener dog
Everyone wants a wiener dog
To make a long story short and a short story long
Everyone sing the wiener dog song


A Quick Lesson about Dog Shows



There are three types of conformation dog shows: Specialty, Group and All-Breed.
Specialty shows are limited to dogs of a specific breed or “varieties” of a breed; for example, the Dachshund Club of America is for Dachshunds only and would include longhair, smooth, and wirehair (the three Dachshund Varieties).

Group shows are limited to dogs from one of the seven groups; for example, the Inland Empire Hound Club of Southern California can put on shows that are for hound breeds only.

All-breed shows, on the other hand, are open to over 147 breeds recognized by the AKC.


Dog shows are basically a process of elimination, with one dog being named Best in Show at the end of the day. Along the way, some dogs accumulate points toward the title “AKC Champion.”


Most dogs in competition at conformation shows are competing for points toward their championship. It takes fifteen points under at least three different judges to become an AKC “Champion of Record.” This is indicated by “CH.” before the dog’s name. Two of the dogs’ wins must be majors (wins of three, four or five points).

At one show, a dog can earn from one to five points toward a championship title, depending on the number of males or females actually in competition for that breed. (Male dogs are referred to as dogs, while females are referred to as bitches.)

Once the dog or bitch is a champion, it can compete for Best of Breed (or Best of Variety) without having to win in the lower classes.


PUPPY – Six to nine months of age or nine to twelve months of age that are not yet champions.

TWELVE TO EIGHTEEN MONTHS – Twelve to eighteen months of age that are not yet champions.

NOVICE – Is for dogs or bitches six months of age and over, which have not, prior to the date of closing of entries, won three first prizes in the Novice Class, a first prize in Bred-By-Exhibitor, American-Bred, or Open Classes, and have not yet earned any points toward their Championships.

BRED BY EXHIBITOR – The person handling the dog in the ring was one of the breeders and is still one of the owners.

AMERICAN-BRED – Dog’s parents were mated in the USA and the dog was born in the United States.

OPEN – Any dog of that breed can show in this class.

After the above classes are judged, all the dogs that have won a first place in the classes compete again to see who is the best of the 1st place winning dogs. This is done separately for dogs and bitches. Only the best male (Winners Dog) and the best female (Winners Bitch) receive championship points. A Reserve Winners award is given in each sex to the runner-up. (Points will only go to the Reserve Winner’s Dog or Reserve Winners Bitch if Winner’s Dog, or Winner’s Bitch is deemed ineligible for the win).

The Winners Dog and Winners Bitch then go on to compete with the Champions for the title of Best of Breed (or Best of Variety). At the end of the Best of Breed Competition, three awards are usually given:

BEST OF BREED (or BEST OF VARIETY) – The dog judged as the best in it’s breed category.

Best of Winners – The dog judged as best between the Winners Dog and Winners Bitch.

Best of Opposite Sex – The best canine that is not the same sex as the Best of Breed Winner.

Only the Best of Breed winners advance to compete in the Group Competition. Each AKC recognized breed falls into one of the seven group classifications, Sporting, Hound, Working, Terrier, Toy, Non-Sporting and Herding. Four placements are awarded in each group, but only the first-place winner advances to the Best in Show competition.

When you see a “CH” in front of a dog’s name you now know how it earned the title.



I write the monthly newsletters for the San Diego Dachshund Club and Mt. Palomar Kennel Club. My articles have appeared in dog publications across the country. If you would like a complementary copy please click here and send your US Postal Mailing address to us. If you use a web-based e-mail account, please use the e-mail address below.

You can also read some of my articles online, by clicking the Articles link here or on the menu to the left.

If you want more information, please contact: Susan Buck, (760) 789-0592 E-mail:

Housetraining Your New Puppy


litterboxFirst, do you want your dog/puppy to have good house habits? You say “yes”, but do you mean “YES!!!”? Unless you make this your NUMBER ONE PRIORITY you might not be successful and could end up with a canine that cannot ever be trusted loose indoors….

Dogs/puppies will not train themselves and they do not have natural instincts that will lead them outside to pee and poop. They must be trained to “hold it” until they can get to the place where they are allowed to eliminate. They must be shown where they will be allowed to eliminate. They must be praised and rewarded when they get it right.

  • FACT: Dogs are creatures of habit, they do what they have always done. When urinating or defecating, they do it where they have done it before. Allow the dog to urinate or defecate only where you want him to continue doing so.
  • FACT: Dogs react to smell. They urinate where there is a smell of dog urine. Get rid of the smell of “accidents” from your house by cleaning as soon as possible with a solution of 1 part white vinegar to 4 parts water. This will not hurt most carpets or flooring, but test first. Commercial products, such as Simple Solution, or That Citrus Stuff, may also eliminate the odor and visible spots on a carpet. Don’t let your pet see you do this clean up.
  • FACT: Dogs’ bodies respond to what and when they eat and what they do. Always take your dog outside immediately after sleeping or eating, and during play time. Feed puppies no more than three meals, adults no more than one or two meals per day; do not leave food down. Pick up drinking water early in the evening.


“Crate” your dog (confine him to a small area, such as a plastic dog crate large enough for him to stand and turn around in) WHENEVER YOU CANNOT WATCH HIM!

When you first get up in the morning, put the leash on the dog, urgently say, “Outside, outside!” and run him through the house out into the yard to the place you want him to do his thing. Carry the puppy if it is very young.

When he does pee in the appropriate area, praise him to the sky. When he poops where you want him to, praise him up! This tells him that he has done a good thing. Also give him a treat immediately (keep a dog biscuit or a few Cheerios® in your bathrobe pocket).

Add a command word as he’s doing it: “Hurry Up” or “Pee & Poop”… whatever words you feel comfortable with. But always use the same command. The dog will learn to associate the command with the actions; this will make life a lot simpler if you travel with him and need to get him to eliminate quickly at a rest area.

Stay out with him for another five minutes or until you’re sure he has finished everything possible.

Take the dog inside the house and give breakfast. Immediately after breakfast, take him out again to potty (see above directions). Be prepared to spend about 20 minutes (sometimes more time if necessary) outside with him while you wait for him to pee and poop. If he does not eliminate during that time you will need to stay outside longer… until he pees and poops.

Now your dog/puppy is “safe” to be in the house with supervision. You can play with him, sit with him on your lap, brush him, talk to him, work on a new trick or behavior, but don’t let him out of your sight. Spend some quality time with him. Then if you need to get busy with chores or just are not paying 100% attention to him, have him on a short leash tied to your belt. If you cannot keep him with you like this, then put him into his dog crate with a toy, chewy or a treat (crates are not for punishment)!

When it is time to come out of the crate, put on his leash or carry him immediately out to his “potty place”. Use the proper command, then praise and give a treat when he is done with his business.

He will need to go “out” after he eats, after he wakes up, after he has been playing. An 8 week old puppy will sometimes need to poop up to 8 times a day. An adult dog will usually poop 2 or three times a day. During the day you can assume a puppy can hold his bladder for about an hour for each month of age that he is (two months old, about two hours; three months old, about three hours). An adult dog can usually wait up to 6 hours before he needs to pee (if he is asleep in his crate he won’t need to “go” as often as a dog that is awake and busy).

If YOU DON’T ALLOW HIM TO HAVE AN “ACCIDENT” IN THE HOUSE… he will be housetrained in a very short period of time. Each time an “accident” happens you will have to start the training all over. So do it right the first time! If your dog/puppy is not housetrained it is not the dog’s fault… it is YOURS! Your fault for not being serious enough with the training.

I don’t know of any magic, or training tricks that will make housetraining easy for you. When you bring home a new dog/puppy, do it when you will have several days off from work and when you can put one hundred percent of your time into housetraining. If you want results and no setbacks, don’t assume that your spouse or children will train the puppy for you. They might help, but it is your responsibility to see that the training is carried out. A few days of intense supervision will pay off with a pet that can be trusted for a lifetime!

You could also use the rolled up newspaper system of housetraining your new puppy/dog. Take a section of newspaper. Roll it up tightly and put a rubber band around the roll. Then when you discover that the puppy has made a puddle on the floor take the paper and firmly hit yourself over the head while repeating….

I should have been watching the puppy,

I should have been watching the puppy!


American Kennel Club

american-kennel-clubAll of our miniature Dachshunds and all of our miniature Dachshund puppies are AKC Registered. There are many other dog registries in the country but none are as respected as the American Kennel Club. Non-reputable registries will register any dog or puppy if the right amount of money is included with their registration application!

About Registration

The American Kennel Club, a not-for-profit organization established in 1884, maintains a purebred dog registry, sanctions dog events, and promotes responsible dog ownership.

As AKC does not breed or sell dogs, it cannot guarantee the quality or health of dogs in its registry. AKC reserves the right to refuse or to rescind the registration of any dog for cause.

The owners of registered dogs have access to numerous educational and informational services provided by AKC, as well as to various competitive events. The rules and regulations for each type of event should be referenced to determine specific eligibility and performance requirements.

Papers and Identification

When you buy a dog represented as AKC registrable, you should receive an AKC Dog Registration Application form properly filled out by the seller. When you complete your portion and submit it with the proper fee, this form will enable you to register the dog. When the application has been processed, you will receive an AKC Registration Certificate.
Under AKC Rules, any person who sells dogs represented as AKC registrable, must maintain records that make it possible to give full identifying information with every dog delivered even though AKC “papers” are not yet available. Do not accept a promise of later identification.
The Rules and Regulations of the American Kennel Club stipulate that whenever someone sells or delivers a dog registrable with AKC, the dog must be identified by providing the buyer with a properly completed AKC Dog Registration Application for a dog not yet individually registered or a properly completed AKC Registration Certificate for a registered dog. If neither of these is available, the person delivering or shipping the dog must furnish the person acquiring the dog with a bill of sale or written statement, signed by the seller, giving all of the identifying information listed below.

For a Dog Not Yet Individually Registered

  • Breed
  • Sex and color and markings
  • Date of birth
  • Litter number (when available)
  • Names and numbers of sire and dam
  • Name of breeder
  • Date sold or delivered

For a Registered Dog

  • Breed
  • Registered name
  • Registration number
  • Date sold or delivered

This identifying information must be supplied with the dog even though AKC papers are not yet available, and even to a person who takes the dog only for resale as an agent or on consignment, and the same information must be passed on by him when he disposes of it. When you do receive the properly completed AKC registration papers, verify the papers against your bill of sale to ensure that all the information is correct. Please be advised that a dog will not be registered or transferred without the proper AKC registration papers.

If you are buying a dog that is supposed to be registrable with the AKC you should realize it is your responsibility to obtain complete identification of the dog or you should not buy the dog. Failure to get AKC “registration papers” causes more grief for buyers of purebred registrable dogs than any other problem except sickness. It has long been common practice to explain the inability saying “AKC hasn’t sent the papers yet.” The essence of this and similar excuses is that because the American Kennel Club is at fault, papers are not available. The fact is that the processing of any AKC registration item takes approximately three weeks. If a breeder is doing his paperwork in a regular, careful manner, there is ample time to obtain the necessary “papers” from AKC prior to the sale of any puppy. When “papers” are not available at the time of delivery, it is a red-flag warning sign to exercise extreme caution.

AKC Registration and Quality

There is a widely held belief that “AKC” or “AKC papers” guarantee the quality of a dog. This is not the case. AKC is a registry body. A registration certificate identifies the dog as the offspring of a known sire and dam, born on a known date. It in no way indicates the quality or state of health of the dog. Quality in the sense of “show quality” is determined by many factors including the dog’s health, physical condition, ability to move and appearance. Breeders breeding show stock are trying to produce animals that closely resemble the description of perfection described in the breed standard. Many people breed their dogs with no concern for the qualitative demands of the breed standard. When this occurs repeatedly over several generations, the animals, while still purebred, can be of extremely low quality. Before buying a dog, you should investigate the dog’s parentage (including titles, DNA and pedigree information), the breeder’s breeding practices, the breed standard, and the genetic tests recommended by the Parent Club for the breed. For more information, go to About Buying a Dog and visit the Parent Club website.

How AKC Registration Functions

The American Kennel Club registration system can be described as a cycle, which is repeated every generation. A convenient starting point is the registration of a litter. In order for a litter to be eligible for registration, the sire (Father/stud dog) and the dam (Mother/bitch) must be individually AKC registered and the litter must be whelped in the United States. Registration of the litter must be completed before any of the pups from the litter can be individually registered with AKC. Application to register a litter must be submitted on a Litter Registration Application form. This form, as well as others mentioned here, is available upon request. The owners of the sire and dam should complete and sign the appropriate portions of the application and submit it to AKC with the required fee.